Game-A-Day: Classic - Super Mario RPG [SNES]

God, this game is boring. Boring boring boring. And I can't blame it with my being bored by RPGs as a whole nowadays, as I was bored the first time I played it. It's just another square RPG with the Mario universe feeling tacked on as an afterthought. Who wants to play with a bit of marshmallow fluff when you could have had Toad or that doll when you could have had Luigi (who's never even seen, heard from, or even mentioned)? I'd like to also point out that those characters and their people have never been heard from again (of course, it's probably 'cause Square has the rights to them or something, but humor me). The story just plods along, and the combat system's gimmick (pressing buttons to do better attacks and take less damage) seems wholly unpolished (which is funny as all the pre-rendered characters are all shiny and plastic looking). And then there's the isometric perspective which makes the "platforming" elements a pain in the ass, like Scurge: Hive. Not to mention the environment seems to blend in at times. And who in the hell in the target audience knows about musical theory? Shit.

Basically, Super Mario RPG does everything wrong that Paper Mario does right five years later.

Game-A-Day: Classic - Polarium Advance [GBA]

Yes. Polarium Advance. On the GBA. I didn't know about it until recently. It's the Polarium we know on the DS, but with some improvements and omissions. First thing first, no more challenge mode, instead focusing on the puzzle mode, giving you one puzzle everyday for a year, and with over 365 puzzles that's almost four times the amount in the first one. And on top of that, there's an added challenge where each puzzle will give you two points on the grid that you have to connect in a certain amount of spaces while clearing the board after you've cleared it at least once. Sometimes you'll get it your first time on the board, but others you really have to rethink how to clear it. Second, instead of having to have a solid block of one color, only the horizontal rows have to be the same color. This makes some boards harder and some easier. Thirdly, there are three new special tiles. Hurdle tiles, tiles that sit on the edge that you can't move over; multi-tiles, wild cards that act as empty spaces that will switch to whatever color is needed to clear the row; and solid tiles, tiles that hold other tiles that let's them drop down when cleared.

Maybe it's just that I was sitting down and playing a whole bunch of them at one time, but there's something about it that just makes you go "eh" after a while and you get sick of it. So because of that, despite the fact that it's a really good puzzle game that's better than the original, I give it a

Game-A-Day: Classic - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom [NES]

Spoiler: The only thing related to Indiana Jones that I've seen is Young Indiana Jones.

The sad thing about this game is that it could have been really good. What brings it down is the poor graphics and counterintuitive controls. The graphics make what you're doing a bit confusing since you don't really know what level you're supposed to be at to swing across. And with the controls I keep on jumping down into lava instead of jumping forward. And, even though as I said earlier that I've never seen the movie in question (I really need to get on that), I get the feeling that if this wasn't based on a movie it would have had an intersting story. There's also the fact that I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do until I actually went and looked it up.

I really want to blame the shortcomings of this game on the limitations of the system, I really do, 'cause, to paraphrase Jeremy Parish, bad games and good games hampered by the limitations of its time are easily confused, but I can't. This is just a plain bad game brought on by poor execution. Though, it's really not surprising considering this came from Tengen.

I give it a (very, very) generous low

Battle K-Road [ARC]

This is what Street Fighter would be like if it was slow and plodding. And didn't have all the crazy shit that makes it awesome.

Game a day: Classic - Batman - Return of the Joker [NES]

Has okay controls, good graphics, and good music, but this is all brought down by horrible, punishing level design with hidden traps, off-screen enemies, and unavoidable hits. This is all made worse when you compare it to the original NES Batman, which was utterly fantastic. Fuck this game.

Game-A-Day: Classic - Sparkster [GEN]

To both have actual posts on here and to move all the Game-A-Day stuff here, I'll also be posting existing reviews.

A solid platformer from Konami (specifically Nobuya Nakazato, who also did Contra: Alien Wars and Shattered Soldier). You play as an opossum knight who has a rocket pack. The graphics and sounds range from acceptable to decent, but when it comes to the controls, some of the advance rocket maneuvers (re: going diagonally) are hard to pull off. The use of the rocket pack does get inventive, such as using it to become an opossum screwdriver to defeat a mini-boss. Low to high challenge level, depending on the settings. I give it a high

Welcome.

This blog is to be a continuation of a concept from another blog; one review (or so) of an old game per day (or so). Enjoy.