Ninja Gaiden: Shadow [GB]

Just...eh. I don't know. If common knowledge is to believed, this is actually an edit of Shadow of the Ninja. I believe it, as this...really doesn't feel like a Ninja Gaiden game. I just couldn't get into it. I know I should give some credence to the fact that it's a Game Boy title, but there's only one subweapon...and it acts more like a bomb move since you can only collect a number of charges of it instead of amassing spiritual strength. I guess it warrants a

The Jetsons: Invasion of the Planet Pirates [SNES]

This Taito game has George in the Spacely Sprockets factory with a suction gun that lets him pick up blocks, enemies, and power-ups and attach to walls and ceilings. This could have been a really cool game, or at least a forgettably mediocre one, but there's just something I really, really don't like about it. It's just...I don't know. Hard to put into words. So I'll just say I plain don't like it.

Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo [GBA]

This is a pretty crappy port. The whole thing runs a bit slow. And it's flattened to fit the GBA screen. While the arcade game is fan-fucking-tastic, you should steer clear of this port at all costs. You will get no enjoyment out of this squished, sluggish travesty.

Elevator Action II [ARC]

This a great sequel. With three unique characters, new weapons, new enemies, bosses, and expanded levels, this is a great example of how to make a sequel. You can find it on Taito Legends 2. I think that the price of admission is worth this one game. Of course, there are other good games on it, but this one is fantastic by itself.

Game-A-Day: Classic - Gunbird [ARC]

I don't know what it is about H.Shooters that I hate and V.Shooters that I love, but this V.Shooter I love even more than usual. It's funny. It looks fantastic (but then again, so do most Psikyo games). It's funny. It controls fantastically. It's funny. Each character has their own shooting style instead of having to choose in-game, making all the characters more than just cosmetic and no longer having you worry about losing your progress by a mistiming. It's funny, especially if you have a partner so the characters interact (personally, I just set a player 2 and turn on the cheats to make them invincible and then forget them). It's got a bit of bullet hell to it, but eh. It's a good, fun game.



And that's the last of the classic reviews. From now on they'll all be fresh!

Game-A-Day: Classic - Demon's Crest [SNES]

This is a spin-off of the Ghost's 'n Goblins series staring a demon that's supposed to be, i dunno, the real devil, or something. He can hover using his wings, spit fire, hold onto walls, cast spells, and change his element with collected crests so he can do other stuff too. It's a bit open, like Mega Man X, with you able to choose where to go next and backtrack to stages to open new areas. It even has some mode 7 effects that are pretty cool. Would probably be even more impressive if I hadn't already seen it in Illusion of Gaia, among other games, though. It's real fun, and actually not as hard as the series it's branched off of. I really recommend it.

Game-A-Day: Classic - 007: Nightfire [GBA]

God, even more proof that EA is incapable of putting out a good portable game. Also more proof that FPS games shouldn't be on handhelds. Or at least not on something slightly more powerful than an SNES. It's slow. It's clunky. It's ugly. It sounds...okay, I guess. It's based on a franchise I hate. Fuck this game.

Darkwing Duck [NES]

This is one of those aforementioned "great Capcom licensed games" that I was talking about. This is like Mega Man dumbed down. Kinda. The challenge is toned down, but not too much. It looks really good. The music is some of the best I've heard. There's some strategy in which secondary weapons you pick up. The only thing I don't like is the overuse of bottomless pits. Those are annoying.

Bottom line: play it!

Game-A-Day: Classic - Twofer!

Irem Skins Game [SNES]

The title is a lie! It's not about skin, or about people showing skin, but is instead about...golf. And as far as golf games go I guess it's...alright. The swing meter goes super fast though. Hard to get it down.



Castlequest [NES]

A puzzler/platformer that features a short, stocky prince that jumps floatily and has a stubby little dirk. Not...not that great. I really couldn't get that far because of that stupid stiletto.

Texas Hold 'Em Poker [GBA]

Pffft. It's just the card game. And not that great. Not that bad, but not that great. A budget game for a budget price. Wholly forgettable. It doesn't really warrant its own blurb, but I played it, so I guess it gets one.

Game-A-Day: Classic - The Sims (various editions) [GBA]

Gott, EA can't put out a good portable game to save their lives. All of the portable Sims are awful. That's all I can say about them. Fuck these games.

Game-A-Day: Classic - No Rules: Get Phat [GBA]

Tch.

Ninja Five-O [GBA]

A platformer from Konami. Part Bionic Commando, part...something else. Swing around with a grappling hook, shoot terrorists, rescue hostages, fight bosses, and other platformer things. All with perfect control, great sound, and great graphics. This is a great game. If you find it, snatch it up immediately.

Game-A-Day: Classic - Lester the Unlikely [SNES]

Okay, I know that the main character is supposed to be nerdier than Urkel and that how he moves is supposed to reflect that, but the controls are either awkward, clumsy, convoluted, or any combination of the three and it's hard to fight through them. Not to mention puzzles range from obscure to simplistic, further detracting from everything.
Furthermore, I had a lot of problems with the sound cutting out. Fuck this game.

Garfield Labyrinth [GB]

Tch, I don't know. I don't like it. A puzzle game featuring Garfield (and then later reprogrammed to star Peter Venkman from The Real Ghostbusters). Break reappearing blocks, lay down bombs to destroy enemies, find keys, collect star things so you can exit the level, don't run out of time. Blah blah blah. I just...I just don't like it. It's lackluster. That's all I can really say about it. Fuck this game.

Game-A-Day: Classic - Binary Land [NES]

This is a great puzzle game from Hudson Soft. You have to guide two penguins who are in love to the end of a top-down maze filled with spiders and their webs. However, they're both separated by a wall down the middle, and when you move one the other mirrors the moves. You also have to get them at the goal at the same time, so no getting one then the other. They're both armed with bug spray to take care of the webs and spiders. If you run into one of the webs, your penguin gets stuck and has to be freed. If they both get stuck, you're fucked.

Wow, that's a rather ham fisted description. Oh well, no matter, as this is an awesome game. The only thing that I didn't like about it is that like almost all games of the age (this coming out back in '85), the music is a digitized version of a classical song and it repeats for the whole game. But what do you expect; they're programmers, not musicians.

Game-A-Day: Classic - Bonkers [SNES]

Capcom has made some damn good Disney games. Aladdin, Chip & Dale, Darkwing Duck. This game is not part of the club. It controls horribly, it sounds horrible, it looks...not so great.

...There's nothing else I can really say about it. It's just another bad licensed game. Pretty disappointing, especially when compared to the other said games.

Game a day: Classic - Ninja Wariors, Again [SNES]

This is one of the few beat-'em-ups that I really like. It has good controls, good graphics, good music, and has a nice challenge without being too hard. All in all good fun.
But there's not much else to say about it. Plus, if I look at it objectively, this is probably pretty average. Of the beat-em-ups that I've played, this is probably fifth on the list after (inpo) TMNT III and IV, Sailor Moon [ARC], and Final Fight.

Still, I never said that I would be objective, so this gets a

Lode Runner [NES]

Oh sweet Jesus. This is the worst fucking version of Lode Runner I've ever played. It doesn't show the entire level, and it only scrolls when you're about three blocks away from the side. This makes it very god damn easy to run into enemies. Everything good is negated by this. This...this is just horrible. Fuck you, Hudson Soft.