Wednesday, March 26, 2008

T&C Surf Designs [NES]

*vomit*

Fuck you even more, LJN. Fuck you even more. Jesus. Go play California Games instead.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tetris Attack [GB]

A pretty faithful port. The only only problem is the same as another Gameboy port: slowdown. However, while it does make pulling off some chains harder, it's still serviceable, unlike the aforementioned title. The only real difference is the story mode, which, instead of having two characters both trying to keep their screen clear is more like the Bowser boss in the stage clear mode of the original; the enemy has a bar of HP and will regularly drop garbage blocks on your screen. It's still pretty good and will do for taking the Attack on the go.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Lack of Updates [Meta]

I apologize for the recent grievous lack of posts. I've mostly been playing Orange Box titles lately. I don't know what the other two's excuses are, though. Hopefully you'll be seeing more regular posts here soon.

Our schedule:

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Various gameshow games [NES]

Gametek, your games were bad and you hopefully felt bad!

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Kickle Cubicle [NES]

A somewhat rarish puzzle game. Control Kickle, who can freeze enemies and create unpassable pillars of ice. The enemies, when frozen, can either be kicked to create more land or just simply shattered. The ones that are to be shattered are out to mess you up by either kicking the frozen blocks of enemies before you can or running you over or shooting you or freezing you or just otherwise menace you. Do all this to collect three dream bags per stage before the time runs out. Yeah, dream bags. Did I mention this game is for kids? Not only does it have bags of dreams, it has princesses and talking fruits, vegetables, cakes, and toys. All the graphics, enemies (except for some spike balls that run around the edges of the field trying to run you and everything else over), sounds, and music are all cutesy. At least for the NES. Even the challenge level is set for kids. While I kinda struggled when I was younger, I can clear the story in about an hour or thereabouts with some minor frustration. Except after you clear the story, you're given a bunch of bonus levels, and let me tell you that the difficulty is ratcheted up on them. The thing is that it's all done very well so it's still enjoyable even if you're past the age where it can offer any real challenge. If you like puzzlers, it's a fun game no matter how old you are.

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Saturday, March 1, 2008

World In Conflict [PC]

This game is fun. It's an RTS at heart, but it has no resource management or buildings or almost anything from any standard RTS. The game follows the story of the "what-if" scenario that the Cold War went hot. Russia invades the US, hell ensues. The story in the Campaign is actually pretty well told featuring great voice actors. If the story doesn't get you, the graphics certainly will. Of course, that is if your computer can handle it.

Units are not made, resources are not gathered. In the campaign, you get a set number of points to spend on infantry, vehicle, air, or support troops. Once you have used up those points, you cannot get anymore troops until yours are gone. This means you control smaller batallions of units instead of an entire army, but when the conflict to the left and right of you is a rocket barrage and infantry charge in the downtown Seattle area, WIC does a great job of making you feel like you're right in the middle of a real war, so the small unit cap actually works with the game. Destroy enough units to call in special support, such as precision artillery strikes, carpet bombs, or everyone's favorite, the Nuke. Fully destructible environments are reduced to rubble and the atmosphere is tarnished with the smoke of the giant explosion for the rest of the match. Nuking a US city has never been more fun!

For multiplayer, it's even more narrow chaos. You can only choose to play one of the 4 roles the entire match. This means it is a MUST to play as a team. If your entire team chooses helicopters, one opposing support player can take you all out with anti-air. This makes for entirely hectic multiplayer matches, which are played as an "attack/defend the points" gametype. Very, very addicting.

So if your computer can handle it (again, it's really more of a system hog than you'd think) then get this game if you are a fan of RTS's.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Bucky O'Hare [NES]

This game is hard. When people talk about "Nintendo hard," they're talking about this game. Some of it comes from cheapness (most bosses have at least one way to kill you instantly. What the fuck?), some of it comes from bugginess (clipping issues mostly), and some of it comes from genuine challenge. This makes it kind of hard to review, since everything else is good. It looks good, it sounds good, and it controls well (when you're not running into the aforementioned clipping issues and such). You can switch characters as you rescue them (the crew of the titular Bucky's ship have been kidnapped and scattered) and they all have different weapons and abilities, such as clinging on walls and jet packs. With all that, is it a good game? ...Well, obviously, no. When you're constantly hitting brick walls that will make you create all new curse words because you've used up all the others, all enjoyment gets drained. Fuck this game. Even if I can't stop going back to it.

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